[Worklife Column, Manila Bulletin, September 2011]
Bullying causes a lot of stress and wasted energy for many people. Instead of focusing all efforts in doing their jobs well, the bullies and the bullied engage in emotionally draining social politics that could not possibly help make the company and its people prosper.
It is a real concern in the workplace. It lowers morale. It cripples productivity. It increases employee turnover. It is a major cause of employee resignations. That is why it makes sense for HR practitioners to bully-proof their companies or at least set policies and processes in place to deal with this issue.
HR practitioners are in charge of the overall welfare of employees. This includes developing a happy and enjoyable work environment. Yes, HR can and should prevent workplace bullying. We are in a unique position to positively influence the workplace through creative programs and policies.
A reader shares her bad experience against workplace bullying and asks for HR solutions to her problem. Let’s see how we can help her.
Good Day Madame!
I just want to ask what is the best thing to do in these situations:
-What if you have co-workers (group of boys) bullying you every day (ex. Throwing tissues at the work station). The superior can see what these boys are doing but he’s doing nothing about it.
-If you have co-workers, including an immediate superior, spreading rumors and gossip about you, that you are a hooker and a mistress. (The employee is not a hooker and not a mistress, actually, the girl is a Christian and never had a boyfriend and never had sex with anyone)
-Is it okay to file a case to these people who've been spreading malicious rumors?
Hope that you can site me HR solutions on this matter. Thank you and God Bless! --BB
My Response:
Thank you for emailing your work issues. Bullying in the workplace is a real issue for a lot of people as it affects not just the happiness of individuals but also the team's morale as a whole.
There are many ways of dealing with bullying at work. I wrote an article with excellent strategies against bullying for my column awhile back. Do check out my blog at http://hrclubonline.blogspot.com/2010/09/dealing-with-workplace-bullies.html.
If after using the strategies I mentioned to protect yourself against bullies, you still find yourself under attack. Then it may be time to use administrative actions and escalate it to your management.
Companies with structured human resources have policies and protocols in dealing with issues and grievances at work. The first thing you should do is check your Employee Handbook or Policy Manual. Does it state policies on employee conduct and culture? Does it include disciplinary actions for violations of policies? Does it have a section on how to report grievances? If it does, then put your handbook to good use and follow procedures and be guided accordingly. Employee Policies are there not just to protect the company, but more importantly, to guide and protect employees.
Next, try to gather your own evidence. Whether you plan to solve it on your own or escalate the matter, evidence will give you solid grounds for your complaint. Without evidence, the disciplinary board will have to deal with a he-said, she-said scenario which is difficult to deliberate on.
Normally, protocol will dictate that you deal with the problem amongst yourselves first. If you can't resolve it, talk to your immediate supervisor. But if this doesn't improve the situation or the immediate supervisor is the problem, then it would be best to talk to HR or the Boss of your immediate supervisor.
If you want to escalate it, simply follow your Employee Handbook on how to file grievances. Make sure that you are also in good graces with your HR and top management. If you are a valuable and hard-to-replace employee, these people will back you up or find immediate solutions to your problems.
But what if, your Employee Manual does not have any provision on bullying or worse, your company does not even have an employee manual? Well, you will then have to do it informally and maybe even suggest to top management to issue a memo or create a more comprehensive policy manual.
There are basically just five ways of dealing with workplace bullying issues:
You may quietly accept it, but this will eat away at your job satisfaction.
You may seek revenge, but this will worsen the situation.
You may speak up to the bully and hope to change your situation.
You may fight, get management involved to fix the situation.
Or you can resign, if you can be sure that doing so will give you better opportunities, benefits and peace of mind.
Whatever you decide, there are of course consequences to every action that you take. So just be prepared to handle the worse-case scenarios of each. Bullying in the workplace is a real concern for a lot of people. But if you learn how to deal with it without quitting right away, you will become a better, stronger and more successful person. May you have the strength and wisdom to do what is best for your situation. Good Luck!
Showing posts with label Dealing with Workplace Bullies. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Dealing with Workplace Bullies. Show all posts
Friday, September 2, 2011
Thursday, September 16, 2010
Dealing with Workplace Bullies
This article was published in August in my Worklife Column at Manila Bulletin.
Workplace bullies come in all shapes, forms and sizes. You’ve most likely encountered bullies at some point in your life, maybe at work or way back when you were still in school.
Remember the screaming boss that everyone in your office feared? Or the terror professor who gives everyone low grades when he’s had a bad day? What about the office gossip who spreads malicious rumors about co-workers. Then there’s that customer who curses. And let’s not forget, that smooth talking colleague of yours who acts friendly but continuously puts down people with well-camouflaged words that actually cuts your heart into pieces.
These are just some of the typical bullies that walk among us. But because of the many types of personalities and situations we encounter at work, it’s not always easy to identify bullies. For instance, if your boss gets angry and raises his voice at you for an error you’ve committed repeatedly, is that considered bullying? If an irate customer screams out of exasperation for being passed around, can you say that the customer is a bully? No, not exactly…
So who are workplace bullies? And when can we say that a person is a bully?
Workplace bullies use direct and indirect methods to coerce, intimidate and get their way. They repeatedly use subtle or overt manipulation tactics which often lead their victims to feelings of powerlessness, stress, inferiority and fear. Basically, bullies make you feel like a loser.
The Art of Dealing with Workplace Bullies
The truth is, almost everyone will experience being bullied, but not everyone will be bullied. Here are some practical ways to help you deal with bullies…
A Protector
Being demure and all, my family actually prepared me well for handling bullies. Before I started my schooling, I remember my mother specifically tell me, “Pagmay manakit sa iyo o may nagtangka, sumbong mo sa titser” (If someone hurts or threatens you, tell the teacher).
True enough, on my first day at nursery school, a scary classmate of mine was playing “teacher”. She was ordering people around and lining them up. If someone breaks the line, she puts them in jail---a small table where some of my poor classmates were already being kept. Well, I broke the line and so she wanted me to go under the jail-table. Instant flashback---I remembered what my mom said, then cried my heart out. My real teacher came to the rescue. After consoling me, she scolded my scary classmate and released her poor victims. And the silly game ended.
This episode became a powerful lesson for me. It showed me the power of “telling the teacher” or finding a protector who will guard you against bullies. In the course of my schooling, career and life, I find that I don’t get bullied much. That’s because people know that I have someone backing me up---a boss, a teacher, a mentor, an influential person at the office, a courageous mother or a strong husband who will fend off any perceived threat.
So your first line of defense against bullies, is finding a protector.
Distancing
This is the technique I use for malicious office gossips. You pretty much know who the office gossips are. They will befriend you at first and bring you in the loop. They seem to know a lot about other people’s “dirty little secrets”. Unsuspectingly, you’ll enjoy the “information” they are feeding you and you begin to bond with them. Then things progress into backbiting and before you know it, it turns into people-bashing.
Whenever a gossip tells me other people’s dirty little secret, my self-preservation instinct immediately steps in. I know they can easily turn against me. If they can do it to other people, who’s to say that they won’t do it to me?
So when faced with a bully who uses gossip to attack people, I just listen and keep quiet… and slowly, inch by inch, step away from that type of bully.
Protect yourself by avoiding these types of bullies.
Find the Bully’s Soft Spot
Bullies are often insecure people. They are obviously hurting inside, so they tend to take it out on other people. When I taught public speaking to a bunch of high school students during one summer, I noticed a boy who was acting in an obnoxious manner. He made his classmates feel bad with his snickering and side-comments.
So what I did was get to know him. I found out that his OFW dad is back and settling permanently in the Philippines. Since they have not bonded as father and son due to the years of distance, they are having difficulty adjusting and his father has been quite harsh in correcting him. This made him feel bad, so he made others feel bad. To help him, I made him the leader for a class project where he needed to be responsible for his classmates. This simple act changed him instantly. Instead of being a bully, he became a protector.
Bullies are tough on the outside but tender in the inside. Find out what their soft spots are and you’ll be able to help them change. If you befriend the bully, the bully may even become your protector.
Secret Power
But the most important lesson I have learned about dealing with bullies is best captured in the words of a very wise woman, Eleanor Roosevelt. She says, “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.”
Wow! Read it again and again until you get it.
The real secret is finding the power within you. If you let this guide you in your everyday life, you will soon realize that you can become your own protector. If there are things that hurt or bother you at the office, you will know how to calmly speak up and assert your rights. You will know how to say NO politely to bullies and other types of toxic behavior. You will not become a victim and you won’t allow yourself to act like a martyr…because you own your self worth.
About the Author:
Jhoanna O. Gan-So is president of Businessmaker Academy and the managing director for HR Club Philippines. Her company conducts seminars on Human Resource Management and Corporate Skills Development. They have also recently launched the Instant HR Toolkit, a service that provides HR practitioners with over 100 ready-to-use downloadable, customizable and printable HR manuals, contract, letters forms and templates. To know more about HR seminars that they offer, you may visit www.businessmaker-academy.com or call (632)6874645. To know more about the Instant HR Toolkit, you may visit www.hrclubphilippines.com. You may email your comments and questions to: mbworklife@gmail.com
Workplace bullies come in all shapes, forms and sizes. You’ve most likely encountered bullies at some point in your life, maybe at work or way back when you were still in school.
Remember the screaming boss that everyone in your office feared? Or the terror professor who gives everyone low grades when he’s had a bad day? What about the office gossip who spreads malicious rumors about co-workers. Then there’s that customer who curses. And let’s not forget, that smooth talking colleague of yours who acts friendly but continuously puts down people with well-camouflaged words that actually cuts your heart into pieces.
These are just some of the typical bullies that walk among us. But because of the many types of personalities and situations we encounter at work, it’s not always easy to identify bullies. For instance, if your boss gets angry and raises his voice at you for an error you’ve committed repeatedly, is that considered bullying? If an irate customer screams out of exasperation for being passed around, can you say that the customer is a bully? No, not exactly…
So who are workplace bullies? And when can we say that a person is a bully?
Workplace bullies use direct and indirect methods to coerce, intimidate and get their way. They repeatedly use subtle or overt manipulation tactics which often lead their victims to feelings of powerlessness, stress, inferiority and fear. Basically, bullies make you feel like a loser.
The Art of Dealing with Workplace Bullies
The truth is, almost everyone will experience being bullied, but not everyone will be bullied. Here are some practical ways to help you deal with bullies…
A Protector
Being demure and all, my family actually prepared me well for handling bullies. Before I started my schooling, I remember my mother specifically tell me, “Pagmay manakit sa iyo o may nagtangka, sumbong mo sa titser” (If someone hurts or threatens you, tell the teacher).
True enough, on my first day at nursery school, a scary classmate of mine was playing “teacher”. She was ordering people around and lining them up. If someone breaks the line, she puts them in jail---a small table where some of my poor classmates were already being kept. Well, I broke the line and so she wanted me to go under the jail-table. Instant flashback---I remembered what my mom said, then cried my heart out. My real teacher came to the rescue. After consoling me, she scolded my scary classmate and released her poor victims. And the silly game ended.
This episode became a powerful lesson for me. It showed me the power of “telling the teacher” or finding a protector who will guard you against bullies. In the course of my schooling, career and life, I find that I don’t get bullied much. That’s because people know that I have someone backing me up---a boss, a teacher, a mentor, an influential person at the office, a courageous mother or a strong husband who will fend off any perceived threat.
So your first line of defense against bullies, is finding a protector.
Distancing
This is the technique I use for malicious office gossips. You pretty much know who the office gossips are. They will befriend you at first and bring you in the loop. They seem to know a lot about other people’s “dirty little secrets”. Unsuspectingly, you’ll enjoy the “information” they are feeding you and you begin to bond with them. Then things progress into backbiting and before you know it, it turns into people-bashing.
Whenever a gossip tells me other people’s dirty little secret, my self-preservation instinct immediately steps in. I know they can easily turn against me. If they can do it to other people, who’s to say that they won’t do it to me?
So when faced with a bully who uses gossip to attack people, I just listen and keep quiet… and slowly, inch by inch, step away from that type of bully.
Protect yourself by avoiding these types of bullies.
Find the Bully’s Soft Spot
Bullies are often insecure people. They are obviously hurting inside, so they tend to take it out on other people. When I taught public speaking to a bunch of high school students during one summer, I noticed a boy who was acting in an obnoxious manner. He made his classmates feel bad with his snickering and side-comments.
So what I did was get to know him. I found out that his OFW dad is back and settling permanently in the Philippines. Since they have not bonded as father and son due to the years of distance, they are having difficulty adjusting and his father has been quite harsh in correcting him. This made him feel bad, so he made others feel bad. To help him, I made him the leader for a class project where he needed to be responsible for his classmates. This simple act changed him instantly. Instead of being a bully, he became a protector.
Bullies are tough on the outside but tender in the inside. Find out what their soft spots are and you’ll be able to help them change. If you befriend the bully, the bully may even become your protector.
Secret Power
But the most important lesson I have learned about dealing with bullies is best captured in the words of a very wise woman, Eleanor Roosevelt. She says, “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.”
Wow! Read it again and again until you get it.
The real secret is finding the power within you. If you let this guide you in your everyday life, you will soon realize that you can become your own protector. If there are things that hurt or bother you at the office, you will know how to calmly speak up and assert your rights. You will know how to say NO politely to bullies and other types of toxic behavior. You will not become a victim and you won’t allow yourself to act like a martyr…because you own your self worth.
About the Author:
Jhoanna O. Gan-So is president of Businessmaker Academy and the managing director for HR Club Philippines. Her company conducts seminars on Human Resource Management and Corporate Skills Development. They have also recently launched the Instant HR Toolkit, a service that provides HR practitioners with over 100 ready-to-use downloadable, customizable and printable HR manuals, contract, letters forms and templates. To know more about HR seminars that they offer, you may visit www.businessmaker-academy.com or call (632)6874645. To know more about the Instant HR Toolkit, you may visit www.hrclubphilippines.com. You may email your comments and questions to: mbworklife@gmail.com
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
Posts
